Saturday, December 05, 2009

138. Seasonal Greetings from a Moaning Blogger...

IN THE NEWS.

The Floods.
I guess everybody from religious fanatics to global warming know-alls will spout their reasons for the unprecedented rainfall that has caused such devastation and sad loss of life this autumn.
Truth is, we are never prepared for freaks of nature and mostly live in a cocoon of complacency wherein disasters only happen to other people.
Television reminds us that the elements can beset anybody, but the comfort of an armchair in a warm living room removes reality from the situation.
Cameras never linger too long on chaos. Insurance companies hurry to advance it as a reason why next year’s premiums will go up. The usual platitudes about lessons being learned are routinely served up by beleaguered officialdom.
Cures are promised right up until the crippling pecuniary aspects become clear; then councils cravenly decide that effectiveness cannot be guaranteed; anyway, next year it will probably happen somewhere else…
Lessons will have been learned, though.
Mind out for that flying pig!

FILMS.

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.
Well I suppose one way to ensure that audiences know exactly the sort of film they are going to see is to slap a number after the title and rely on the success of the original to bring them back
So far none of these computer-animated gems has failed to amuse and entertain. This one incorporates a wealth of original ideas with some extended sight gags carried along from the two earlier films.
We loved it.
The numbered Ice Ages have even been given subsidiary titles (number 2 was The Meltdown).
Whether you have kids or, like me, are a big kid, I would recommend you obtain the complete DVD set.
And refuse to lend any of them out!
Night at the Museum 2.
No additional title to this one, just the number and Ben Stiller’s name at the top.
It’s OK, but only half as good as the original.
Don’t know whether any more are planned.
Hope not.
A third night at the museum would be one and a half too many.

TELEVISION.

Merlin. (BBC1)
New characters come and go, with or without ceremony.
King Uther Pendragon (Anthony Head) firmly believing that he has weeded out all the wizards in Camelot, maintains a blinkered unawareness that they are still gathered around him. In a recent episode he even married a troll (lovely OTT stuff from Sarah Parish).
His son Arthur (Bradley James) has yet to realise that manservant Merlin (Colin Morgan) has the description 'practising wizard' included in his C.V.
Amidst all the drama on offer, this sublime load of tosh gets barmier and more enjoyable by the week.
A great Saturday teatime warm-up for…
Strictly Come Dancing. (BBC1)
Where none of the pairs now stands out for culling.
I have no idea who the winners will be: was originally convinced that Ricky and Natalie had to make it to the final and there probably be competing with Ali and Brian. But Chris (with Ola) has terrific public support and Laila (a very good dancer) has Anton, a superb partner.
Nope, I can’t choose between them. They’re all great.
If it was left to me they’d all get a trophy.
The Paul O’Grady Show. (C4)
Theatricals and showbiz names clearly enjoy being on this show. Paul O’Grady’s ’You’re a star’ interviewing technique makes him the easiest of conversationalists and his guests revel in it.
This week Bradley James and Colin Morgan appeared again. Away from the set of Merlin their banter is little changed except that Colin Morgan clearly hails from Northern Ireland. Yes, Merlin has a charming Nor’ern Ir’ern accent. Well it surprised me.
In fact it’s the most surprised I’ve been since Dr. Who turned out to be a Scot.
The Graham Norton Show. (BBC1)
This fellow’s fay following is still a bit beyond my comprehension, but since Woss had his wrist slapped there has been a tad less of the outlandish about him.
Recent guests on the show have included Dame Shirley Bassey who, when her fellow guest Michael Sheen’s absent mother was insulted by comedian Rhod Gilbert for living in Port Talbot, simply said to Sheen: ”Hit ‘im.” (Good ol’ Shirl!) and Stephen Fry who made it clear that he delights in twitterers because they twitter and hates bloggers because they moan.
I shall retain a dignified silence.
No I won’t.
Fuck off, Stephen.
Bargain Hunt. (BBC1)
Retirement brings with it certain cultural restraints, one of which is daytime television.
I try to avoid all the reconditioned barrow boys with their auction dabbling, property dealing, small-time entrepreneurial find-me-a- cottage-priced-mansion-with-a-heated-swimming-pool stuff and concentrate on just a couple of cheerful time-wasters a day.
The ebullient, camera-mugging Tim Wonnacott presents Bargain Hunt.
In this house he is known as: “That bloke with the bow ties and the silly hats.”
He’s a bit posh English and is always ‘going orf ‘ to one stately home or another where he is invariably on first name terms with the owner.
I think y’gets what y’sees with him.
And never mind the office boy press screaming that the show is a sham, if I had a house full of antiques and needed to sell them I would get the lot transported up to Great Western Antiques and Fine Art Auctions, Glasgow, and have them sold off by Anita Manning.
What an auctioneer!
 
THE FESTIVE SEASON.

Christmas Again.
What did I tell you?
Well it’s not my fault if you’re not ready. Join the club: I never am.
Cards have started to arrive from those wonderful folk who are ready, of course, and by the end of next week I shall doubtless be running around like Hugh Grant at the beginning of Four Weddings and a Funeral.
Remember?
Anyway, this will probably be my last blog post before the holiday, so let me say
A Merry Christmas to all you nice folk who take the trouble to read it and A Happy and Prosperous New Year even to those who don’t, Stephen.
Now Be Sure Sound is on:
(The wait is worth it)
Click here: Santa and Reindeer