Sunday, January 20, 2013

190. What's been happening?

FOR A START...
I’ve re-read a few past posts and am as ready as I’m likely to be to resume the sporadic scribbling. Gawdblessyer if y’ still look in. So what has been happening? Well…
ACROSS THE WATER.
In Portsmouth.
Maureen’s sister Ruth died on the 18th December. Most of the family attended the funeral on the 10th January. At the time of her death she was two days past her 87th birthday. She lived in Portsmouth most of her life, survived a husband and son, could be moody at times but had a heart of gold and willingly gave shelter to an adolescent Mo when it was most needed. RIP Ruthie Lea.
Worst experience of the day: the taxi to Portchester Crematorium from The Hard at Portsmouth was the least disabled-passenger-friendly we could possibly have chanced upon and was driven by the least helpful driver. We shall not avail ourselves of that one’s services again.
Best experience: being surrounded by the familiar - and unfamiliar - faces of a large family and its friends. Even on such a sad occasion it was a joy to meet those who came to have a chat.
In London.
Another competition to find new writing talent is being launched by newspaper of the year i. This time interested university students are being invited to submit (in editor Stefano Hatfield’s own words) “450 words on one of the following five relatively timeless topics: whether Britain should stay in or leave the EU; the decline of our high streets and what that means; why arts and culture matter in a recession; a defence of modern-day football; and do Britain’s young study the right subjects and work hard enough?” If none of those subjects appeals, the competitors can submit one on a subject of their choice, but are warned to avoid topics which may have “fallen off the news agenda by the time columns are published next month.”
Deadline for email entries to i@independent.co.uk is 12 noon on Monday 28th January, should contain the word iWriters in the header and entrants should include their course and place of study.
If I was studying English/journalism at university I’d be emailing my entry right now, chance how genuine the prospects would be. I’m only sorry I’m more than sixty years too old, went not to university, have only ever been marginally competitive and would have been a useless foot-in-the-door dickhead, anyway. It would have been a daily column or nothing for me.
But good luck if you are an undergrad who sees this as a career chance and competes accordingly. I wish you every success.
And when it comes to luck, in Vauxhall last week two crane drivers escaped death when a helicopter hit their crane and crashed in flames. Seems the crane was not manned because the senior driver overslept. Surely they were the luckiest people in the metropolis that day.
ON THE ISLAND.
Christmas over.
Our little living room looks strangely bare bereft of the accumulated models of Santa Claus gathered over the years, the half-tree in plastic Canadian spruce and the annual welcoming decorations. Put in black and white it all sounds decidedly naff and probably is, but we like it and so do all the little kids and most of the adults who see it. Them as don’t can please themselves. To my mind, the most worthwhile quote from any celebrity last year was made by the actor and film director Clint Eastwood who (asked what his fans thought of him playing older roles) said that one of the advantages of getting old is you no longer need give a crap what anybody thinks. I’ll second that.
My Leader.
Despite a few confidence-sapping falls, progress following the hip replacement is being steadily maintained. Expert opinion has it that a bout of polio at an early age weakened her left side and it has now been decided that physiotherapy will be of benefit. My Leader is a fighter and the experts are sound.
Beyond that one can only hope.
ON TELEVISION.
Last Tango in Halifax. (BBC1)
I recorded the complete series of this romantic drama by Sally Wainwright and we watched the episodes in one viewing session. It was playwriting at its very best and the acting was superb: the stars were (in alphabetical order) Derek Jacobi, Sarah Lancashire, Anne Reid and Nicola Walker. Some cast, eh?
We thoroughly enjoyed it and there is talk of another series.
Elementary. (Sky Living)
This is at least a positive attempt to use the Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson characters differently. Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu play the roles in a likeable way and only Arthur Conan Doyle purists will carp at the presentation. My Leader and I both like it.
Father Brown. (BBC1)
G.K. Chesterton’s detective priest has memorably been played on film by both Alec Guinness and Kenneth More, but I fancy this new series may establish Mark Williams as the definitive Father Brown in much the same way that the long-running television series Poirot proved actor David Suchet to be the only actor ever to convert that cardboard character into a real person.
NCIS Season 10. (FOX)
They’re back again in full flow. Caught up with and despatched their immediate villain, too. Didn’t buy my storyline (offered somewhere way back), but did produce a comeuppance scene in which Gibbs delivered us from ever setting eyes on the rascal again. It was very well done.
They couldn’t have afforded me anyway.
AND SO TO THE SNOW.
To the disappointment of the kids, we never get it that bad over here. Just a sprinkling. My Leader, bless her, has managed even the worst of it with grips on the soles of her shoes and her walking stick.
Me, I still remember 1946 in Catterick Camp, Yorkshire and winter any year in Klagenfurt, Austria. Now that was snow. (Swing that lamp!)
Wherever you are, though, wrap up warmly and mind how you go.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

189. Goodbye 2012. Hallo 2013.

HOME AT YEAR’S END.
Not me, buddy.
Following the publication of post 188 a handful of comments (two of them now published) reached me, all from the same source, saying: Hi Mr. Barnden, can you remember the day that I stayed with you when you lived in a very small building in Bournemouth and then I walked all the way back to Southampton where I lived. My feet felt like I had been on one of our first route marches. Have a lovely Christmas. Ginger.
Well, thank you for your Christmas good wishes, Ginger, and I am sorry about your feet which must have been extremely sore for you still to have such a memory after what, I assume, has been a very long time.
But whoever you stayed with back then it was not me, buddy. I have never lived in a small, large, detached, semi-detached or even terraced building in - or so much as near - Bournemouth. Indeed, apart from one conference at a hotel and a couple of visits to shows at the old Winter Gardens (above), I know absolutely nothing of the place.
Your feet would have got very wet if you had walked to Southampton from where I live. My wife and I have been on the Isle of Wight for close on forty five years: Prior to that we lived in and around Portsmouth.
Lord alone knows where your Bournemouth Barnden came from, but if he had a car and let you walk all that way I don’t think much of him.
All the best and have a good New Year. Dennis.
So it didn‘t end after all.
I refer to the world: and who really thought it would? Well, I didn’t, but I’m not a Mayan; in fact, I’m not an anything if you discount cynical old sod: I certainly am that. My Leader tells me I don’t like people and she is about right. I certainly don’t like too many people and, no matter what anybody says to the contrary, there are far too many people in this country now. It is a situation that cannot be reversed.
The alternative would be too awful to contemplate. Better government by fools than by nationalistic bastards. So, although the world may not have ended, the cosy world depicted in all our wartime propaganda films (Went The Day Well? Cottage To Let, The Way Ahead etc.) certainly has. Like it or lump it we are not that nation anymore. And y‘know what?
It really ain’t the end of the world.
It only seems like it sometimes.
SEASONAL TELE SCENE.
On the negative side, Christmas 2012 saw the usual smattering of war films, seasonal specials, Morecambe and Wise reruns and end of series tear-jerkers. On the positive side there was an abundance of good acting, not least from…
Merlin.

Our heroes departed with Arthur (Bradley James) and Merlin (Colin Morgan) jointly giving a superb farewell performance.
We made a half-hearted attempt to stem our tears.
Downton Abbey.
No chance of a grandstand performance from the departing protagonist in this Julian Fellowes’ warm-up for the next series. Word has it the latest sacrificial lamb (who finished up under a classic car with blood leaking from every orifice) is off to make his fortune in America. Good luck to him.
Call The Midwife.
Baby on the doorstep. Chummy with Nativity play hysteria. A wealth of kindness and tolerance and understanding, all in the same strangely pristine slum area. Again though, damn good acting.
Mrs. Brown’s Boys.
A hilarious helping of Nativity nonsense from Brendan O’Carroll and the team. It really should have been introduced with a warning that it could cause death by laughter. I laughed until I was gasping. Word is you either love ‘em or hate ‘em. Whatever…they’ll do for me.
This time they almost did!
As for the rest of it…
We are always impressed by the animated stuff. The Snowman and The Snow Dog, Room on the Broom, How to Train Your Dragon and Ice Age: a Mammoth Christmas were all very watchable. There were also a couple of decent plays in Restless (Charlotte Rampling still deservedly topping the bill) and Loving Miss Hatto, written by Victoria Wood, which had Francesca Annis and Alfred Molina in the leading roles; you won’t do better than that.
STILL READING…
I am a third of the way through Grimm Tales For Young and Old by Philip Pullman and find myself constantly reflecting what a load of codswallop I thought the Grimm brothers were when, as a boy, I first read them. Sadly even the esteemed Mr. Pullman cannot make a silk purse out of every sow’s ear. But perhaps I am simply missing the point of the exercise, so I shall persevere.
The book currently occupying pride of place on my bedside table is Quite Ugly One Morning by Chistopher Brookmyre. Apparently it was his first novel. Bloody brilliant.
And lastly...
A few words about the journalists who weekly/daily bring their respective - and mostly respected - viewpoints to my pedestrian world.
Throughout 2012 I have been amused (sometimes grimly) by the forthright outpourings of The Independent’s Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (still my favourite crusading columnist even if she has made me ponder my initial reaction to J.K. Rowling’s The Casual Vacancy, a book I disliked because I have at sometime met and loathed everybody in it.)
Tom Sutcliffe continues to mirror image my Weekend’s Viewing - always a great boost to the elderly ego - and, Tuesday through to Saturday, the executive editor of i.
Stefano Hatfield, a man not nearly as pompous as his title suggests, regales me with the shortest and best editorial in the country.
I can only wish continued success to all of them this year.

A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO YOU, TOO!