THINGS SHOULD LOOK UP AGAIN (EVEN IF I HAVE FINISHED THE LAST HARRY POTTER BOOK).
I know, just lately these posts have contained some irksome blogger niggles.
First there was my disillusionment with the NHS (not down to the majority of its staff who try like hell despite shadowy, frequently shitty, management); then there was my irritation at some of the blatantly uncharitable manoevres of an old established charity organization (well I do think they should know better) and finally there was my doubt that there exists such thing as a personhood of bloggers.
It reached the stage where our old friend John 'Anonymous' A. asked my leader: "Does he feel better now that he's got that lot off his chest?"
Oh dear.
Truth to tell, though, I do.
So things should look up again, even if I have finished the last Harry Potter book.
First thing I'll do is re-open the letters page to (preferably friendly) comment. Them as don't read me need not bother, nor need them as have decided not to like me (though they probably don't read me anyway).
A tiny Jess (aged about three) once said to my Leader (a pre 'Allo 'Allo Edith who had burst into song): "Stop it now."
They do get it right, don't they, kids...
I'll stop it now.
LAST WEEK IN VIEW.
Do you still buy a tele listings magazine? If you do, have you wondered why?
Last week my ultimate digital tv and radio guide informed me that on Thursday, 9th August, at 8 pm on BBC1, I could see the first of a new series of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries. Yes, "the much-loved detective drama" would be back.
Eager for a change from the usual diet of wheeler dealers, new home seekers, property developers, television cooks (chefs, huh!) and auctioneers, I was ten minutes into the new dim aristo Lynley and bright pleb Havers concoction before I realized I'd seen it all before. I looked at the Today's Choices page and found the series to be firmly unloved by the senior critic. Had the new stuff been dropped for that reason? Surely not. Were they worried about nine o'clock competition from Mock The Week? Well that's repeated on Fridays at 11.35 pm, so presumably not.
Big Brother was on at nine, too, but surely only the committed (or those who should be) watch that any more?
I retired baffled. Perhaps the infamous programme muddlers will trot out the new series next week and the ultimate digital tv and radio guide will list it as "brought over from last week."
Makes a bit of a farce out of keying those numbers into your video/DVD recorder though, doesn't it?
Never mind, earlier in the evening we had seen Top Wild Dives with Tanya Streeter. Ms. Streeter is the world champion freediver; a brave young woman who clearly loves the sea and most of the creatures it contains. She is also singularly graceful under water and very watchable. On Friday 10th we watched Ganges, River of Life, the second of a three part exploration. Fascinating stuff on BBC2.
On Saturday we saw Carry On Up The Khyber (Channel 4) for the umpteenth time and laughed aloud yet again at the wonderful dinner party where Peter Butterworth gives a master class in comic genius as a terrified missionary.
Later, on the same channel, we were all at sea again. Swimming With Sharks was the story of two divers who were swept away while exploring in the South Pacific off the Solomon Islands and found themselves undergoing a nightmare marathon swim in shark infested waters. It was a true story and, though told by the protagonists, kept you on edge for their well-being from start to finish.
If you add to the weekend Law & Order: Special Victims' Unit and Angela's Eyes (Saturday on Five) together with Vanished and Killer Instinct (Sunday), I reckon, all in all, you will have had reasonable square eyes entertainment..
What's more, football's with us again.
Last of the Summer Wine is back, too. Love it or hate it, it's got staying power. I love it, but I love anything written by the splendidly lugubrious Roy Clarke.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FAMOUS?
"Would you..." demanded the cat Shadow suddenly, "like to be famous?"
I pondered. "Might have done when I was younger," I said eventually. "Not now unless it made me very rich."
"All those talented people you've seen over the years, though, they must have been famous."
"Some more than others, but most of them were, yes."
"So wouldn't you enjoy being instantly recognized and asked for your autograph and that?"
"Not really. When the sonwriters Betty Comden, Adolph Green and Julie Styne wrote Make Someone Happy they counselled ...Fame - if you win it/Comes and goes - in a minute...and they were right. It can be a very fleeting thing can fame."
"Bit like popularity?"
"Lot like popularity."
"I'm popular," he said immodestly. "On sunny days when I sit on the wall out front lots of people make a fuss of me."
"I know, I've seen them. Whole families: grannies, little children, the lot. It's very nice."
"If we'd lived in the right place I'd have been an actor," he said. "Then I'd have been really famous and on a roof in Coronation Street or something."
"I don't think soap stardom's all it's cracked up to be," I said. "Anyway, what do you know about Coronation Street? We never watch it."
"I see it at Manners's Manor sometimes," he said airily. "Mrs. Manners's Manor watches it all the time."
"No bloody wonder he's always round here," I said. "No, mate, you wouldn't want show business. You'd finish up being a manky old character part cat,"
"You can be very negative at your worst," he grumbled. "I think I'll go out."
"It's raining," I told him.
"Oh bugger," he said and I thought: how very Noel Coward.
He headed back to my Leader's vacant chair.
All he needed was the dressing gown and cigarette holder.
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