CRANFORD (BBC1 - Sundays)
Just glance down the cast list and you can sense a superb series. This is Elizabeth Gaskell's Cheshire market town beautifully staged and looking, though I feel sure Miss Deborah Jenkyns (Eileen Atkins) would deplore my saying so, a million dollars.
Something to record after the Antiques Roadshow, then.
We shall still watch Long Way Down (BBC2) until the very end. Boorman and McGregor are compulsive viewing.
EGGHEADS. (BBC2 - nightly)
Last week the Eggheads were beaten twice in two days.
On Tuesday they lost to a team of museum people who departed with £33,000.
On Wednesday they were beaten by a bunch of tax inspectors, but the prize money was back to £1,000. (Hurray!)
Time to demand a change in the format, Eggheads.
And the departure of Dreadful Dermot.
WE CAN'T ALL BE EGGHEADS.
(Or museum people or, thanks be, tax inspectors.)
On Monday at 7.30 pm my Leader reminded me that Mastermind was about to start.
"Hurry up or you'll miss the chance to get your two right answers," she advised cheerfully.
The gifted imagination of television schedulers ensures that half an hour of Mastermind (John Humphrys being consistently pleasant) is followed by half an hour of University Challenge (Jeremy Paxman being occasionally likeable).
After Mastermind I repaired to the kitchen.
When "Come on! Come on!" Paxman started his introduction I bolted back to the television.
"What's the rush?" my bemused Leader called after me.
The truth will out.
"Must try to increase my right answers to four."
MATCH OF THE DAY LIVE. (BBC1 - Wednesday 19th November)
England 2 - Croatia 3
So England failed to qualify for Euro 2008.
The scoreline says it all.
The cat Shadow departed long before it finished.
England manager Steve McClaren and assistant Terry Venables departed shortly after it finished.
I departed at 9 pm to watch Heroes on BBC2.
NCIS. (Five)
At the end (a while back) of what I took to be the final series, Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon), having quit his job, walked along a beach to meet up with his old boss.
I thought that was it.
NCIS was over.
Now it seems he may have had a dream in a shower or something because a new series is being advertised and the word repeat has not been mentioned.
If this really is brand new and has never been shown here before, great!
I need no longer watch repeats of
CRIMINAL MINDS. (Five)
Where each week dear old Mandy Patinkin, gravitas glasses on the end of his nose, appears with The Sequential Dialogue Club.
This is a delightful load of bunkum in which it is clear that from me - to you - via her - to him - back to Mandy dialogue has been allocated to the ensemble, sequentially, to be delivered without pause for breath or suggestion of thought.
Sometimes two or three people share a sentence.
It is democracy gone mad.
Once the Criminal Mind of the week has been terminated, a voice-only who sounds a lot like Mandy Patinkin delivers a worldly-wise denouement - without let or hindrance - and that's that.
I still enjoy it.
Though ol' Mandy really is better when he's singing.
CSI (Five)
Thinking about sequential dialogue brought to mind my one bone of contention with CSI.
No forensic or other expert in a CSI/NY/Miami (whatever) episode is ever allowed to express a view without some fellow cast member simplifying it, in alternative words, for the benefit of the viewing public.
Ever stopped to wonder at the incredible patience of experts who take no offence at this?
I have.
I find myself longing for just one expert who will yell: "Stop re-wording everything I say, you smart-ass! Fuck off!"
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