WATCHING.
Shadowland.
The
cat Shadow woke suddenly.
"You
didn't publish my poem," he said.
I
donned my guileless look. "Poem? What poem?"
"Last
month...Loitering
around with a poetry look...? He can wait until next month? I can
read, y'know.”
“Oops,”
I said. “I was in a bit of a hurry.”
“Yeah.
Well, you can make up for it this month. I have an equal-gender,
next-year's-election, party-political poem.”
“Christ,”
I said.
“Indeed,”
he said and struck his poetic pose.
“Are
you sure about this?” I queried.
“Publish
and be damned,” he said. "Here goes..."
Predictable
pre-polls prediction.
When
an MP comes pubbing and buys you a beer,
And
promises you some monstrous favour,
You
can bet your sweet life it's election next year
And
s/he seriously hopes you'll vote Labour.
When
an MP's doorstepping in your part of town
And
compliments you on your cat:
You
can bet that s/he's hoping to get your name down
As
that rare Liberal Democrat.
When
an MP appears - just the once - in your pub,
And
gives you the Glory Days story;
(Then
asks why you don't join the local Con club)
You
won't need to ask if s/he's Tory.
But
the dedicated xenophobe who makes it quite clear
You
should break free from foreigners forthwith,
Is
the one, by and large, that you most have to fear;
S/he'll
be BNP or UKIP --- and a DIV!
He
eyed me quizzically.
I
shook my head in a shrug-of-the-shoulders sort of way.
“What?”
he said.
“Didn't
you say you were off football and politics?”
“When?”
“The
last time Pompey got beaten by some back alley town which, in their
heyday, they would have driven past without noticing it was there.”
“How
are the mighty fallen,” he said.
“Them
and a lot of others,” I said. “That apart, I
seem to remember you saying football was just an excuse for all the
countries we've beaten in wars to get their own back."
“Did
I say that? How perspicacious of me. And politics?”
“You
went along with our Leader when she decided MPs were all talk and no
listen and she would have no further truck with them.”
"It
was Dimbleby's Question Time and I was dozing on her lap,"
he muttered. "I was in no position to disagree."
“So
why go all politically poetic now?”
“Well,
from now on everything the politicos think or do is going to be
geared to next year's election, isn't it? I just thought I'd get in
on the act.”
“Now
that's prescient,” I said. “That's sagacious.”
He
yawned. “Yeah...and if you put them with perspicacious, what have
you got?”
I
took too long trying to form an unflattering reply.
“Journalese,”
he said, and went back to sleep.
2010
revisited.
I'm
not very good on names and am slightly apprehensive when it comes to
double-barrelled Christian names (a fad based on the dicey assumption
that hyphenated monikers are likely to be large, pushy, female and
American).
Way
back in Watching... I made the mistake of expressing this
prejudice and was rightly taken to task by Sarah-Jayne Leverton (not
large, not pushy, not American; pleasant, attractive, based in
Cornwall) who, I think, was - and for all I know may still be - a
copywriter for Clifford James.
At
that time I also concluded that opening up my blog to guest writers
might turn it into a cost free advertising spot for them. Sheer
paranoia, my dears. This is a random monthly blog; not even that
posturing little prick Putin would undertake a Crimea on it. Blame
such fears on an ingrained tendency to like most people and trust but
few.
Anyway,
quite by chance, in my documents the other day, I came across
the 2010 Rambler blogs we love
article, written by Sarah-Jayne, which led to our contretemps. It was
a nice little piece, I appreciated it and apologize if I did not say
so at the time. Hope she is well and that her business thrives.
As
to apologies.
Is
an apology a sign of weakness? I don't think so. To my mind, never to
apologize is a sign of pig ignorance.
That
'never apologize, it's a sign of weakness' line was originally
delivered by the late John Wayne in the film She Wore a Yellow
Ribbon and has since (presumably in tribute) become a staple of
Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon) in the television series NCIS.
I wince whenever I hear it.
That
having been said, I wonder how much worse it is than the patently
insincere apology delivered nowadays by the spokesperson of whatever
authority, business, or country, is deemed to be responsible for some
awful wrong done in its name. When it comes down to it, none of them actually cares, do they? Better they said nothing than meant nothing.
End
of cynical exposition.
THE
DETECTIVES.
Comings
and goings.
Person
of Interest.
Reese (Jim Caveizel) and Finch (Michael Emerson) are back on Channel
5 (Thursdays) for the second half of the current series. Totally daft
concept, but we like it.
Likewise,
The Mentalist
(Simon Baker) is back. He, together with Lisbon (Robin Tunney) and
Cho (Tim Kang), has been drafted into the FBI: don't ask. The
remainder of the gang are currently wafting around the periphery;
they can be seen on Channel 5 on Tuesdays.
Also
on Channel 5 (every Saturday) a new detective series
Sheriff Longmire, starring
Robert
Taylor: not the American one (he would have been over a hundred years
old now) but a fine Australian actor who was in The Matrix. If you
liked Tom Selleck as Jessie
Stone
you will like
Robert
Taylor;
they are interchangeable.
The
same cannot be said for Inspector
De Luca
(another new series, this time on BBC4, Saturdays 9pm) and
Montalbano,
a very different
plate
of pasta. De Luca is played by an actor new to me, Alessandro
Preziosi, and is set in Italy at the time when Mussolini was in
power. It is a four part series which, on first showing, does not
measure up to its Sicilian counterpart in either performance or
location. But I live in hope.
For
those suffering from an absence of Nordic noir, BBC1 is currently
screening another series of Shetland
(Tuesdays) starring the excellent Douglas Henshall as DI Jimmy Perez.
The cast includes Alison O'Donnell, Steven Robertson and a host of
familiar Scottish actors. The stories are as dark as their
Scandinavian counterparts and it is good to know that, for some
anyway, there is life after Taggart.
Line
of Duty:
Series 2 was written by Jed Mercurio. It could equally have been
written in 1977 by G.F. Newman (Law
and Order).
There was not one trustworthy or likeable character in it. Great
stuff for actors, though. Keeley Hawes et al were splendid.
AND OTHERS.
More
comings and goings.
I
continue to enjoy The
Walking Dead ,
but have to be in the mood for it. No such reservations with the
second series of Mr.
Selfridge and
the first of The
Musketeers, both
of which my Leader and I have enjoyed from start to finish.
The
same has to be said for David Hare's Worricker trilogy,
Page Eight, Turks and Caicos
and Salting the
Battlefield.
Bill Nighy starred in all three as Johnny Worricker, a disenchanted
Mi5 officer. If you like him you will have liked it; if you
don't...well...
In
the meantime, Tom Hollander and Olivia Colman are back with the third series of Rev
(Hurray!)
and Timothy Spall, playing P.G. Wodehouse's Lord Emsworth, has just
completed another series of Blandings
(A-a-ah).
Not much wrong with the British
acting scene, is there?
FINALLY.
Back
on the Isle of Wight.
Nothing ever changes. Not
really.
Last year a bunch of local
politicians got together here to offer the electorate an alternative
to its customary choice of increasingly unpopular Conservatives and
Liberals.
The new crowd called themselves
Independents. They were, by and large, former Conservatives and
Liberals; but the ploy worked and they were voted in.
This
year an Independent
Remuneration Panel
(fuck knows who they
are or who elected them) has recommended a hefty rise in the
allowances of senior Island councillors. The council has “agreed to
accept the recommendations.”
What a surprise. Their total allowances bill is £471,696 and hundreds of their employees are in line for redundancy.
What a surprise. Their total allowances bill is £471,696 and hundreds of their employees are in line for redundancy.
It's another world, ain't it.
What's more, those confounded
clocks have gone on again!
I might recover in April.
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