OUR LOVELY ROZ IS DEAD.
Here she can be seen peeping out to smile for the camera on what none of us dreamt would be our last ever Christmas dinner together.
Mo and I have been welcomed to spend Christmas day with her and family, both at her former home and here, for more years than either of us can possibly remember. The festive season will never be the same again.
Rosalind Anne Barnden was the youngest of our three children: a bright infant, a determined youngster, a nightmare teenager: and a wonderfully worthwhile adult. All in all, a woman to be reckoned with.
As soon as she could walk she wanted to ride a horse. Knew she could do it: then proved it with decidedly favourable reports from the two most respected riding school instructors in the area. She was a natural horsewoman. Might have gone a long way, but there was never equestrian country money in the family and I guess boys eventually became more interesting.
For a variety of reasons, school was not always the happiest place for her. She was bright, but clearly had no desire to take the path followed by her older siblings and seek further education at a university. She did, however, excel at athletics (high jump, long jump, and two hundred yards) and, from around the age of twelve, held an Isle of Wight high jump record that I believe was only beaten some three or four years ago.
Her teens were spent in a state of rebellion about which, years later, she would reflect: 'I was a nightmare to you two and I don't know how you put up with it.'
Her teens were spent in a state of rebellion about which, years later, she would reflect: 'I was a nightmare to you two and I don't know how you put up with it.'
We knew. She was family and there was a fine young woman waiting there.
She tackled a variety of jobs. Shop worker. Barmaid. Door girl. Manager of the IW branch of a security firm. Hospital cleaning supervisor. And, eventually, a LSA at Medina College, Newport, IW. where her empathy with the more disturbed and difficult of youngster was regularly evidenced.
She was twice married, twice divorced, and had a child from each marriage: Jessica, who is now a clinical pharmacist at St. Mary's Hospital, and Ellis who is still a pupil at Medina College.
Jess has just bought her first house. It is in Ryde. Needed TLC. And she and boyfriend James are busily making it habitable.
Ellis, who readers of this blog may know has been living here with his mother since March, 2019, will remain with us at least until the end of this term when his Medina education will be completed: a recent audition for Platform One music college in Newport was successful and he will start there in September. He plays bass guitar. Whether he will then opt to live more permanently with his father and stepmother in Cowes will be for him to decide.
While we live there will always be a home for him here.
Jess has just bought her first house. It is in Ryde. Needed TLC. And she and boyfriend James are busily making it habitable.
Ellis, who readers of this blog may know has been living here with his mother since March, 2019, will remain with us at least until the end of this term when his Medina education will be completed: a recent audition for Platform One music college in Newport was successful and he will start there in September. He plays bass guitar. Whether he will then opt to live more permanently with his father and stepmother in Cowes will be for him to decide.
While we live there will always be a home for him here.
Roz's dog, Buddy, who is still pining for her (the person of utmost importance in his entire life), along with her cats, Angel and Spike (to whom I am the most important as long as I have a bag of cat treats in my hand) are welcome to remain with us, too.
Jess's father, Daryl, and his other half, Sian, are currently exercising Buddy daily, and Ellis is making sure the entire pack is watered and fed. I think Roz, who recently renamed herself Bee on Facebook (apparently something to do with privacy), would have been deeply touched both at this kindness and by the myriad messages of condolence and offers of help from near and far.
Jess's father, Daryl, and his other half, Sian, are currently exercising Buddy daily, and Ellis is making sure the entire pack is watered and fed. I think Roz, who recently renamed herself Bee on Facebook (apparently something to do with privacy), would have been deeply touched both at this kindness and by the myriad messages of condolence and offers of help from near and far.
She had some wonderful friends. So do we: and great family.
It was on 14 July, 2018 (Post 309), that I first reported: 'The younger of our two daughters, Roz, has been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer...and has prepared herself with a thoroughness that has been one of her more positive traits ever since she came of age.' The post concluded: 'At present we are feeling very old and sadly aware that we have nothing to offer but concern and love.'
That has remained throughout.
Years ago, on one of her special occasions, I gave her a tape of Michael Bolton singing 'If I could.' It expressed, better than I ever did personally, exactly how I felt about her.
I hope those of you who loved her and somehow get to read this will forgive all that is missing.
There has been so much and I am not as tough as I would like to make out.
Too many tears.
No child should predecease its parents, let alone:
ROZ BARNDEN 12. 03.1970 – 12.04.2021.
Daughter, sister, mother, devoted friend.
Wherever you are, you won't stand any nonsense, kid.
Love you xx
Years ago, on one of her special occasions, I gave her a tape of Michael Bolton singing 'If I could.' It expressed, better than I ever did personally, exactly how I felt about her.
I hope those of you who loved her and somehow get to read this will forgive all that is missing.
There has been so much and I am not as tough as I would like to make out.
Too many tears.
No child should predecease its parents, let alone:
ROZ BARNDEN 12. 03.1970 – 12.04.2021.
Wherever you are, you won't stand any nonsense, kid.
Love you xx
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