LET'S START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT.
Here we are, almost a fortnight into the New Year, seasonal decorations down and packed away, forgotten which classic film repeat we most eagerly avoided over Christmas, kids back to school wearing new outfits and shoes and the cost of it all, if seriously considered, more than enough to have us wheeled into Intensive Care.
As Bing Crosby sang in Holiday Inn: "Let's Start the New Year Right."
BOOKS.
Paul O'Grady.
I have just finished reading Paul O' Grady's autobiography At my mother's knee... and other low joints which surprisingly finishes when he reaches the age of eighteen years: i.e. before he found and lost his famous alter ego Lily Savage.
He was clearly the sort of young man he would find hard to tolerate now.
I know that feeling all too well.
Other than that, a working class background and both being childhood duffers at maths is all we have in common.
I do hope he keeps writing, though.
His story, as you might guess, is full of wry humour and a sensitivity he would probably (vehemently) deny.
Frequently funny and at times very moving. I look forward to the sequel.
Arthur Grump.
No, of course that's not his real name, he'll be keeping his real name under wraps for fear of being traced by Gordon Ramsey or the Gallagher brothers. Arthur Grump may even be a pseudonym for all the contributors to the Grumpy Old Gits programmes on television.
Whatever, his book One Grump or Two had me laughing from first page to last.
Loved it.
Then it dawned: he has appropriated most of my blog material for the next three years.
And been paid for it.
Bastard!
TELEVISION.
The Devil's Whore.
This lively bodice ripper, set in the days of the English Civil War, was a four part C4 series. Andrea Riseborough impressed in the leading role, John Simm was splendid as her most ardent supporter and the story reminded us yet again that all they got when they beheaded the appalling Charles 1 was the even more appalling Oliver Cromwell.
Survivors.
This was a six part BBC1 retake on the series of the seventies.
It starred Julie Graham and Max Beesley.
Ended just before Christmas. Should be back,
Like it or not it demands a follow up.
Midsomer Murders.
This turned up on Christmas Eve, for a change was not a repeat, had Barnaby and Jones being dragged off an unwelcome training execise to investigate an explosion, set the scene for future encounters with one of those infuriating high flyers who grace the top posts on every tele police force and, in case you missed it, will surely be shown again and again.
Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death.
Nick Park again. This was a new one for Christmas Day.
Of course they're great.
But they'll have to watch it.
They're in danger of becoming the replacement for Eric and Ern.
Jonathan Creek.
Good to see Alan Davies back in this barmy but beguiling load of tosh.
As a change from QI it was nice for him to be the winner, too.
I know it was supposed to be a one-off, but I hope another series is in the offing.
Above Suspicion.
This two-parter provided the opportunity for Jason Durr to prove that he is more than just that good looking bloke on the motor bike in Heartbeat. He has (according to Wiki) performed with the Royal Shakespeare Company. He was certainly on his mettle here.
Kelly Reilly and Ciaran Hinds were fine as the duo of typical Lynda La Plante coppers hellbent on bringing him to justice.
The 39 Steps.
Rupert Penry Jones, apparently dispatched to a previous life by the explosion in Spooks, turned up here as the John Buchan hero, Richard Hannay.
Read the book at school.
Have seen the films starring Robert Donat, Kenneth More and Robert Powell.
Don't remember much about it.
Certainly don't remember the spy girl, Perhaps she was a reincarnated spook, too.
Oh, for good measure there was a touch of The Lady Vanishes thrown in.
Anyway, it filled up an hour and a half of prime time tele and hurt nobody.
NEW SERIES.
Dexter. (Series 2.)
More lethal logic from the murderers' murderer, Dexter Morgan.
Sgt. Doakes doesn't find him at all funny and I am still in a bit of a quandary about whether I should.
QI.
Alan Davies is reported to have doubts about whether the move to BBC1 and expansion to a 12 part series is entirely a good thing. Well, he may be the constant loser in this Stephen Fry showcase but he's nobody's fool.
He could be very right.
NCIS. (Series 5)
Hurray! They're back! Yeah, the lot of them: Jethro Gibbs and his acting haircut; lovely Abby; beautiful Ziva; nice guy Timothy; dear old Ducky and trouble magnet Tony who just can't wait to have his head smacked.
That's our Friday nights booked for a while.
AND FINALLY, A LESSON LEARNED (WITHOUT APOLOGY).
Last year we were regularly promised that lessons will be learned or apologies will be made for one thing or another.
The lessons to be learned were invariably lessons that should have been learned long ago.
They weren't then and...guess what...they never will be.
As for apologies, I make no apology for believing they are mostly feeble attempts at avoiding litigation: cynical cop outs.
They are seldom made by those who should be making them.
The real culprits in this world never apologize lest it be construed as a sign of weakness. The real culprits come in a variety of guises to cover their greed, spite and vanity.
They are without exception treacherous, paranoid, power-crazed and surrounded by sycophants. They rush mankind headlong into wars for which there is no reason and from which there is no return. They ignore disease and starvation.
They are national leaders.
Here endeth the lesson.
"And," as Dave Allen used to say. "may your God go with you."
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