Post 344. LET'S CALL IT A DAY.

WE HAVEN'T WON A WAR. 

So never mind festive fifty pence pieces, Big Ben's buggered bong, or end of war style street parties. Whether you're a buoyant brexiter or a recalcitrant remainer, let's call it a day, eh? Let's hang Brexit out to dry.

I write as a remain voter whose wife was a leave voter and whose nigh on fifty eight years of marriage has resolutely avoided being so much as ruffled by it.

How, you may (or may not – I don't care) wonder, can that be?
It's a simple answer.

We both see the funny side of it, and of each other; that's how.

Well, look at the plethora of silliness there has been ever since the referendum. Everything about it, from the sullen departure of the idiot whose cocksureness enabled it to the elevation of the fornicating liar who has become his ultimate beneficiary, is utter farce. Dear old Brian Rix should still be alive.

To celebrate their narrow victory the brexiteers have heartily enjoined the powers-that-be to laud it on the day with street parties, chiming church bells and the bonging of Big Ben.

I'm surprised none of them thought to suggest the adoption of The White Cliffs of Dover, sung by Vera Lynn, as their anthem.

To add to this nonsense, the reactionary coterie of Little Englanders who became MEPs last year, stood up today like a bunch of spoiled brats, waving their tiny union jacks, to resign from the EU parliament. Ho-hum.

Leavers who have spurned triumphalism (and my wife is among them), are not mooded to set off fireworks tomorrow night, or to miss the bonging of Big Ben, or to hold a celebration party, or to welcome the newly minted fifty pence piece due out tomorrow, or even to smugly reiterate the words “democratic vote.”

And as far as the fifty pence newcomer is concerned, the much admired author Philip Pullman has said it all: 

“The 'Brexit' 50p coin is missing an Oxford comma, and should be boycotted by all literate people.” 

As an elementary school semi illiterate I would not presume to disagree with him, but I would have written his sentence without the comma before 'and should be...' Sorry, Sir Philip.

That's it for this month.

On Saturday morning the lights go on again all over the world and Boris's government starts to give the NHS £350 million a week.

Do you believe that?

If you do, may I suggest psychiatric treatment?