15. When England were winning by four goals to nil I said to the cat:

When England were winning by four goals to nil I said to the cat:
'Knew it all along. Right team, right manager. Didn't I say so?'
The cat opened one eye. 'No,' he said. 'I think you said that McClaren would be just like the last bloke and the job should have gone to Alan Shearer.'
I did not reply. It's no good pushing him when he's in the mood for argument.
When England took a five goals to nil lead I said: 'This could run into double figures. And without Rooney, too.'
The cat yawned: 'If I were you I'd save the pundit stuff until the game is over,' he said. 'Then maybe you'll be better placed to consider who you would or would not choose for the team next time around. Me, I think I'd reserve judgment on Steve McClaren and all of them until they've faced better opposition. It would have been harder for them to get a result against Barnsley Reserves or Man United A Team than it has been against their last two opponents.'
I was intrigued.
'How come you know so much? How come you even know the manager's Christian name?' I asked.
'Oh, I'm good at Christian names,' he replied loftily. 'I know Rooney is Wayne Rooney. I can even remember William L. Petersen, which is more than you could when you were writing that CSI stuff the other day.'
Then, as he does, he tired of the conversation and went back to sleep.
My Leader came in. 'Who's winning?'
'England, 5 - 0.'
'Oh, that's nice. Are they the ones in the white shirts?'
I said yes, love...
Justin Thyme